Saturday, February 28, 2009


..And I'm preparing myself for the near future, that is - there'll be no future for me.. no!!!
I do not know what to do anymore, I'm doing my best..But it's not enough..
My head is aching.. argh!

We have to finish the system.. we have to (sob* sob**) T_T
May NetBeans help us..
However, I'm ready to remain in Ateneo for one more year but I dont know if my parents are ready for that..


Wednesday, February 25, 2009


Everything that I told you ARE all true. ^^,
I am so thankful for everything that you've done to make me happy,
you have to realize how special you are to me, very special, super special.
You are one of those few people that tries to make me happy.
But you see, things change.
Remember that it was you who told me about that, so I did it,
and then you want me to be JUST LIKE YESTERDAY?
No. Not Again. I won't let you, nor me, do that again.
Why won't you talk to me? Do I have to call you "Syedi"?
I know you're not going to read this so why the hell am I writing this.
I just hope it will still reach you.
Talk to me, maybe for hours or more... Just you and me talking. Why can't we do that?
Don't ask me things I do not want to give, things change. I am not the same foolish person who's so scared to lose you, or so you thought. I wasn't afraid to lose you.
It's all bullshit and I hate it. Do I love you? Did I ever loved you?
I think I did. Good bye, wtf.
But you are still special, though I DON'T MEAN ANYTHING ANYMORE.
It's not true that I don't care about you, what makes you think that?
I just may not be able to show it but I do.
Give me a beep on my cellphone if you get to read this, and talk to me, Syedi.

1. I feel safe when I'm with you
2. You make me feel so important
3. You make me feel you want me so much
4. You make me feel that you really want me so much
5. You treat me like a princess
6. You make me feel that you care so much for me
7. You never made me feel that I am loved.
8. I am just THE NEXT BEST THING. (and I hate it)


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

This keeps me busy right now. It's like WTF! I never thought programming could be this fun, real fun. Haha.. (sarcastic). Anyways, I just want to share these things about Netbeans:

1. Netbeans is really helpful, promise, no sarcasm here. It provides you with automatic choices of the classes,methods, errors, variables, and many more! It's really the IDE you need.

2. To appreciate Netbeans you must have at least basic knowledge about Java Programming, basics really help. You should understand what constructors are, the setters and the getters, methods, abstract, table models, basically about object - oriented programming. :)

3. Google is your bestfriend! Especially the -- hmmmm! very helpful! So as the pdf files, the e-books. Maximize the resources, it doesn't have to be that vague.

4. Consult the books - period!

5. Consult the instructors, proffesors, teachers (whatever you call them) that has advance knowledge and skil in programming.

6. Enjoy! Appreciate programming while you do it or else you'll get stucked complaining the essence of it in your life (argh! this is for me to graduate on time!!)

Friday, February 20, 2009

For all those who greeted me, thank you very much!
You've made my birthday "different" from the past years.. hakhak

thank you!

for those who still want to greet me, you may post in the comment box on the right side of this blog :)

I would like to share to you the song I've composed:

I Say Cheers for 20 years (A Birthday Special)
by Jet Chan

So, you are - What's your name again?
You've crossed the rivers and the erupting mountains
Who the hell cares if you're here
At 13 you learned to drink some beer.

I say cheers! For 20 years for 20 years for 20 years
Cheers, for 20 years you've made it 20 years

You changed, a lot, you become prettier
And the dirtbag - dust - eater has made itself a monster
But do you ever know how to love?
Be very grateful of the One above.


Who couldve told you what to do
Are you ready to fly?
Now you are so happy though some have left you
You are happy.. Damn happy and you say --

(Repeat Chorus except 'I say')
Casted iron 20 years
Eloded thoughts for 20 years
Been searching for 20 years for 20 years for 20 years
Ups and downs 20 years
Suicide never mind for 20 years
Congratulations you've made it in 20 years in 20 years
Troubled family 20 years
Foul words for 20 years
You never said enough for 20 years for 20 years


I say, you are still that girl 20 years before
And I still love you, love myself even more.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The whole month of February is mine! hmmm! \m/ It's my birth month and I just won't be specific with the date. Well, I don't have money to celebrate my birthday (huhu) and to treat all of my friends because I am so poooooooorrrrr.... rar!
Haha.. It' been a sad birthday for me these past years so I thought of something different this year. I'm creating a post that would let people greet me, (kahit wala na gift, greetings nalang) haha...

thank you very much for your time to post if ever you'll post. hmmm!

Just greet me here in my comment box! :)

Monday, February 16, 2009


Well, what do I have here? I would like to share to you the pictures I made out of love for the sunrise. I don’t remember what exact day I took these pictures. I think it’s about New Year. Hmmm..

All the following pictures are taken by me, it’s all mine, please respect my rights to own them, alright? Haha.. But it's a pleasure to share these with you.

Please click the photos for a full view.. :)

Hey, I made this blog first in Microsoft Windows 2007 because I don’t have an internet connection at home. Here’s a screen shot as a proof haha:

I think MS Word ’07 is overly helpful yet irritating haha (laugh laugh laugh)

Okay then let’s start!

This is me, I just woke up when I realize it's already sunrise so I immediately went to the rooftop and MAKE (not just TAKE) pictures, exploiting the view.

I started taking pictures of the view by the sea,(wherever it is), east? West? I really don’t know

This is the cell site of Globe. Hmm.. I just reduced the noise of the photo;

clicked Filter > Reduce Noise > Ok.

And then it turned like this. The colors are as it is.

I never thought that skies could be in shades of violet during sunrise.

I love the sky.

I don’t know if it's in a wrong tilt, or maybe it's just because of the lens, or perhaps I just don’t know how to capture the right angle, or it's just nice.. haha

The mighty cell site of Globe network provider, hmmm.. I wonder if it'll ever collapse.

The weary roofs that comfort me, in the morning or at night, morning until night. Haha…

Oh my, the super zoom of the camera, look over there, it’s the sea where Sta. Cruz island, a white sand beach in Zamboanga City, could be seen from a distance.

And so I looked at the sky and saw the glory of the sun.

The mountain here, I think, is in Pasonanca. I’m not really that familiar in places here in Zamboanga City. Huhuhu
But I really do think it is in Pasonanca, Zamboanga City.

Another angle on the rooftop, the building at the left is what we call Buenavista tower, one step away from my dormitory.

Good morning sunrise.

The spaceship - like building at the back is the Jasmin tower, our neighbor and twin sister of the Buenavista Tower. ( I love this photo's larger view);

The Christmas lantern, hanging on the curved metal on Buenavista tower. It was really days after Christmas.

I changed the settings of the camera and so the colors turned out like this.

The view is from the Cathedral, it is still sunrise, lolz. For me it looks like sunset.

Enjoy the rest of the pictures

Oily face and eye bags, if don’t care I love the sunrise.

A view of the Cathedral without zooming the camera in.

The mighty Cathedral; the sun burns the innocent sky.

It is about 6 in the morning. Hmmm.. sunrise.. I’m lovin’ it.

Waah it looks like more of a horror shot for me, it's blurred but for I guess it's still okay.


It's no edit the focus is really at the bird.

Good morning tall bird!

How lovely it is to disturb you at daylight!

(Please click the photo to view the glory of the "tall bird")

Hihi the bird stood there in solitude, I assume..

I love birds. This bird is now almost as tall as the tower haha whatever.. \m/

Aaah I’m so wasted! But never mind, look at the street below.. Lo! Below..

That’s the INC (Iglesia Ni Cristo) church. Say hello to the bird :)

It’s the Mayor Jaldon St. of Zamboanga City. Hmm, I couldn’t explain more about the geographical aspect, just enjoy the picture. Haha

Mayor Jaldon St. [ not yet traffic ]

The view from the top, I don’t know what street this is. haha

Hello there blue sky of Zamboanga, I will miss you

(Click the pix)

Okay! that's all for now, I'm already sleepy.. .ZZZzzzz...

There are still lot of pictures from the trip on the rooftop.

Good night for me.. I mean Good morning.. haha... it’s 12:39 am. See you sunrise later.

[Posted on blog: February 16, 2009]

Thursday, February 12, 2009

First first steps in finding a "JOB".

Okay, I will share my experience in finding a job. Our university has conducted this year's Job fair. This will be my second job interview if ever. The first was in Jollibee when I applied for a service crew position, I just wanted to have a work that time. I want to highlight that I am seeking for a job, not a career nor a work. At these times of 'global crisis' as they say, nearly gradutes like me should be wise enough to know where to work. And also, what I will share is my preparation for the interview. I will later create another post for the lessons I learned from the job fair.

These are the things that I formulated while meditating for the upcoming interview in our job fair.

First, know what you want.
Search for a certain company from a pool of companies in the world where you are interested in. If you apply in a company please make sure that you really want there. I think things are better if you are interested in it. Without interest, you may be just a zombie that finds for a salary generating activity.

Second, if you really dont want it there, atleast you LIKE to be a part of the organization
You may choose endless of organizations that you will plan to apply in but make sure that if you dont really want to be there, atleast you like to be there.

Third, maximize the internet: search for the details about the organization you plan to apply in.
Just like I did this afternoon, I listed the organizations that got my interest and my field and searched for the details. I recommend you read the org's mission and vision and ask yourself if you share the same things. Also, feel the aura... Did you liked it? If you do then go on. If you dont but you want to go on then go on. If you dont want but you like to go on then go on, remember that it's up to you. But listen to your guts. Also, searching the net about the org you plan to apply in may give you an idea about the things they want in an employee. Knowledge is always a power, if you have knowledge about them then you may have the power to make them hire you.

Fourth, dont forget your resume, application letter and 2x2 pictures.
And dont just make one copy!

Fifth, know the date of the interview and be there before the time.

Sixth, breathe in and breathe out 'cos you are heading to the real world.

Seventh : Go on! Wait for the day of the interview and Go on! :)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

this pic was taken by me in the Gallery of the Peninsula here in ADZU.
Click the pic to view the whole size, it's my wallpaper.. haha


How would you tell someone all your true feelings when at that point in time you were running out of words? And how would you tell that person everything you heart contains when fear eats you alive? And how would you tell that person all the truth and everything you want to say when pride consumes you? And exactly how would say "I love You" when the words are so trite, those three words are not enough, they cannot just contain what you feel inside! d@mN...

Just how could I? If ever that I would..


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

This sonnet was exclusively made for my Lit102 class where the teacher asks us to reply to Shakespeare's Sonnet 130

Thou said of all donkeys I'm the fairest
Other flowers rise above my wired head
But as soon bees fly to me from the west
You get shotguns to get them freakin' dead.
My hands - they feel like twigs ready to burn
Yet no day passes that you don't kiss these
Even if you have all reasons to churn
I am that someone you wont try to miss
Oh, dear, how immune you are of my breath
You have made yourself a barless prison
Infidelity, amongst us, not a threat
I am, and you are, loved for all reasons.
Would they dare ask if thou love me?
They're blind and it's only you who can see.

Monday, February 9, 2009


Hayz! What's new? As usual... It usually ends months before the Valentines, and my birthday... Move on.. Let them be f*#kin happy...
I dont give a d@mN about them.hmf...

Me and Miggy will have a date.. Just the two of us!
hmf :)

But I really want to talk to this other MAN (for me he's not just a GUY)..Just a call from him will do coz I know he can't be here.. hekhek...I know he wont exchange his minute there for my second here... I want to give him reasons to love me, some more reasons to believe... I want him to show me that loving doesn't have to be that hard!!!.... rar!
And whenever you try to hurt me I just hurt you even worse and so much deeper

- It's All Coming Back to Me Now : Celine Dion

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Minsan pumunta kami sa hardin, gusto niya daw kasi ng kasama kaya pumunta kami sa hardin. Ang sabi niya sa akin gusto niyang lumipad. Ang sabi ko naman "Nah, frogs don't fly! They just leap, sometimes they can leap high..". Sabi niya naman, "But I want to fly..."

Tapos sabi ko, "Anong magagawa mo, PALAKA KA LANG".
Natahimik siya habang naglalakad kami sa buong hardin. Hay, kung alam ko lang na 'yun lang ang dapat kong sabihin para tumahimik muna siya, para mapakinggan muna namin ang ihip ng hangin, kami lang dalawa, sa loob ng hardin, edi sana paulit-ulit ko nalang sinabi na "Anong magagawa mo, PALAKA KA LANG"
"Anong magagawa mo, PALAKA KA LANG"
"Anong magagawa mo, PALAKA KA LANG"
"Anong magagawa mo, PALAKA KA LANG"
uulit-ulitin ko..

Bigla - bigla sabi niya, "..Ikaw? Wala ka bang magagawa?".
Sabi ko, "Wala. Di kita kayang bigyan ng pakpak.. Ang kaya ko lang ay maging malaking dahon ng gabi na sisilungan mo pag umuulan... Uhm.. Useless ba ako sa'yo kung ganun?"

"HINDI NAMAN....", sabi niya.

Ah.... Hindi naman pala ako useless. Iniisip ko, habang nililibot namin ang hardin - umalis na kaya ako dito?
Pero ang sabi niya kasi 'wag ko siyang iwan, ayaw niyang mag - isa.

Kaso lang bakit gusto niyang lumipad?
Eh, alam naman niya na hindi ako makakalipad, na kung nagkataon ay maiiwan ako dito kasi lilipad na siya.. Di ako makakasama..

At ayun, narealize ko... Magkasama nga kami pero magkalayo naman ang aming mga isip.
Ang tingin niya ay nasa mga ulap, ako - sa damo. Parang di din kami magkasama pag ganito.

Paano yan naguguluhan na ako, ang gulo ng isip ko, siya lang ang nasa isip ko.

Tapos isang araw nakita ko siya, may kasamang palaka. DEADMA. Magsama silang mga palaka.
Ako... Dito lang muna ako sa hardin.
Maganda pala dito noh? Madaming bulaklak, maaliwalas, at madaming puno.
Madami palang puno dito.... na pwedeng silungan...
And I thank God!
I ask, am I a good person?
To deserve these blessings?
I thank God! He never failed to rescue me,
I love Him so much,
And I know in time He will give me the things I want
With just a little patience and a little faith.
I trust the Lord!

Keber.. sa dinami dami ng problema nalagpasan ko? amazing, I cannot do it without my little faith in Him.. Thanks to Jesus.. Thank you Lord. I believe.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

My sweetness, let me eat you alive
I've been hiding all the words you see
So in my frappe - filled tide you may dive,
That in time I wish be heard by thee.
Now I do listen to thee breathing,
If thou speak not my words of silence
Thine face, thine diamonds used for seeing
Filch each letter of my long sentence.
I beg thee to show me now your wings
Lest I fall without any cushion
Because holding on to these feelings
Reflects my own rule's violation.
Oh, how could i ever forget this
Young, strong, scent that I await to cease.
This sonnet is written in "Bisaya", as we call it. It's a dialect in the Philippines. Actually Bisaya could mean other Visayan(Visayas)and Mindanaoan (Mindanao) dialects like Cebuano, Visayan, etc. But ordinarilly, we termed these similar dialects as Bisaya.

Sonnet 3

Mga panid nga nagdahum na
Nangutana kung muabot karon,
Dili mapugngan kining gugmaha
Bisan malisud mi paminawon.
Nahanaw man ning ulap sa adlaw
Niingon nalang usab unta ko
Kay nikalit ka nako naminaw
Unya kalit pud nilakaw didto.
Ayaw ingna ning luha mapugngan
Samtang nibiya ko, nibiya ka,
Kay di nako kaya ka likayan
Karon,ugma, masayod na unta
Ikaw akong himaya, tinuod,
Kining dughan ikaw lang ang sulod.
The glimmers brought in my dim - witted face
Have caged me inside this barless prison
From thee I saw sunrise in million ways
And once more I believed for no reason.
Atlast I realized what I wanted
Loving is tragic, you once proved me wrong
But to find out you have what you needed
Breaks in silence the song sang for so long.
These written lines can't reflect the coldness
Neither does the scorch of two hearts beating
I must believe thou won't settle for less
Oh, thine melody makes me stop dancing.
Im so confused, something's not really new
You ought to know I want to be with you.