Monday, July 20, 2009

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"Sometimes"
drawn in MS Paint



"Ano?! Sumagot ka! Magpaliwanag ka! Sagutin mo lahat ng tinanong ko!", sabi Niya.

Hindi ako sumagot. Hindi ako nagpaliwanag. Hindi Niya rin naman ako papakinggan dahil alam kong galit siya, galit na galit. At ang taong galit, walang ibang naririnig kundi ang sarili, walang ibang nakikita kundi ang pagkakamali. Kaya ako'y nanatiling tahimik. Pinipigilan kong magalit sakaNya. Sa totoo lang wala na akong pakialam. Ganito na talaga Siya simula palang nang magka-isip ako.

Nanatili ako sa sala, nakaupo sa sofa. Nandiyan pa rin Siya, nagsasalita, kausap ang buong bahay na sanay na sa boses Niya. Naglakad - lakad Siya, kunwari'y nag-aayos ng mga gamit habang patuloy na nagsasalita. At kung ano man ang kanyang nais na ipahiwatig ay Siya lang ang nakakaalam.

Sabi Niya lumayas daw ako. Ngunit ako'y nanatiling nakaupo doon, hindi kumikibo dahil kabisado ko na Siya. Hanggang sa umalis Siya. Ilang araw din Siyang wala. Nakalimutan ata Niya na may mga halaman Siyang dapat diligan, mga halaman na tinuruan Niyang maglakad para lamang makita Niyang maglakad palayo sa kanya.

Napupndi na ang ilaw; Kulay putik na ang liwanag nito. At ako - nakaupo pa rin doon. Maya - maya'y matutulog na ako. Bukas ay mageensayo nanaman akong lumipad. May sarili akong mga pakpak, may sarili akong hangin. 'Wag nilang ipamukha sa akin na hindi ko sila kailangan.



***end***

Monday, July 13, 2009

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My nature is to fly, my nature is to blow away. My nature is to doubt but then I believe more than I can say. My nature is to listen, my nature is to get tired. My nature is self- preserving. Would you blame me for who I am?
..

Sometimes I think that I think too much
Sometimes I feel that I feel too much
Sometimes it could've been too much
But it couldn't be any lesser.
Sometimes I feel I'm lost,
That I just want to come back home
But then I realize I am not,
My eyes were just closed
And my ears were just hearing the echo of myself.
Sometimes I want to believe
that these dreams would go on
when I close my eyes
and every second of the night
would just give me another life.
Sometimes...
I don't want to listen to myself anymore.



--

Decision Points
The Gift
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
Toy Story 3

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

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made by me ^^,
**

I'm not going to post something relevant yet for the next few weeks because my work gets more and more demanding. Now, I am faced with real - world system development with professional team mates, having a team leader and a project manager.

Errr....

*** Random rant:

Suddenly everything's not the same now. It was just like an instantaneous rain that pours on me and wakes my hopeless hopes. He is the answer to my prayers, he might not know it but he's my angel, he's my little saint and I just can't believe he is mine now. I can't believe he saw something in me that others (including myself) failed to see. I can't believe he changed my view of love. Now I realize that loving couldn't be that hard. What's left of me to do is to love him until he wants me to, commit my next days, weeks, months and years to him. I love him so. Demmit, I can feel him though he's far from me. This feeling makes me miss him more. The way of loving him is just insatiable. rarz!

I just wanna be with him everyday of my life T_T...
***