Wednesday, September 30, 2009

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RAINY DAYS

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I sure love the rain.

I'll call him RAIN.


How he pours outside on a supposedly typical day, I swear I don't wanna look right behind the curtain. I'm hearing every drop, and every drop reminds me of him. It was a cold stormy day as I sit in front of the computer. I am here for work, not for another nostalgic moment. I've thought too much, felt too much, dreamt too much that I wish I could just forget. FORGET - because everyday and every night I seem to remember.

I hate Greenwhich, I hate McDonald's, I hate the butterfly garden and La Vista resort. I hate Pasonanca, I hate myself for not hating him.

I'd rather go shopping. Ö lol.

I am... trying to forget and to hate.

It's not you, it's me. I'm broke, I'm incomplete. Damn reasons. I'm broke and incomplete too, I'm rotten, I'm worse than you.

I will wish for a star to fall in one of Pasonanca's hill tonight to ask for a miracle - forget teh rain.

The rain never failed to fail me. The rain fulfilled the prophecies of people around me - those that he thought hates him.

I am writing to keep me sane. After all that has happened, I sure love the rain.

But it could be just a waste of time. It's okay, still okay.. I think.. Love is never really wasted when you give it away, it is wasted if it is kept.

I'm so pathetic, so masochistic, so stupid. Stop it Jet, stop it. But I'm 90% okay and I'm contented with it. It's gonna be okay as they say "there's a rainbow after the rain". I am hopeful.. I love rainbows too..more than I love the rain.


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It's his birthday tomorrow. And... it will be just another typical day for me. I hope it rains.

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