Sunday, March 28, 2010

 (Cheese - drawn in MSPaint)

Extra Ketchup

             It was year 2007 or 2008 or so, the first time I remember was when this Southway Mall is already closing for the day so the customers should go out of the building already. As I was going down the escalator from the second floor to the ground floor, I saw him. He’s scrubbing the floor of the vicinity of this fast food chain store. What really caught my attention is his smile. Then, he accidentally looked my way while I’m on that escalator, our eyes met and it was as if he’s smiling at me, closer and closer I get to the ground floor.

            That time no one knows his name yet, or at least my friends don’t. That time I do not care, I’m fresh from break – up. Months passed by when I start to catch myself in that fast food chain store, eating… or am I? What I really do there is look at him mopping the floor, wiping the glasses and attending the customers.

            Years passed by and I found myself completely drawn into him. I was always there to buy anything, just to see him. Daarrrnnnn…. He doesn’t have an idea how he looks like to me.

He’s an aromatic massage on my eyes after my stressful work infront of the computer.

He’s a spot of cheerfulness when everybody seems to be busy and gloomy.

He’s like an innocent boy that I want to please and stare at. If only I could stop time, I’d stop it there and then for me to just look at him, stare at him and be amazed of his beauty.

He’s an angel in disguise, the truth behind lies, the evidence that first love never dies but true love can bury it alive.

And I know he likes me. I know he was able to notice my year – long presence in that store. I was always there almost every afternoon (after work).

I know he likes me because if he doesn’t, he should’ve been the first one to look away when our eyes meet. If he doesn’t, he wouldn’t be the one to volunteer to give me my take – out order where there should be another crew to do that. If he doesn’t, he won’t glance at me while I eat and be the first one to approach me when I needed something, say, an extra ketchup. Because if he doesn’t, he won’t look at me like that, like he’s a little boy on his birthday and he treats me like I’m a special gift he waited so long to open.

Urgh, how I loved that look.

Sometimes it makes me think he’s just flirting. But, erase!

2010, last week of February. I noticed he wasn’t there anymore. Oh well, I failed to come for a month already but he’s supposed to be there during his duty hours ( I  already memorized his schedule).

2010, March. He’s still not there on the usual time. I got impatient so I asked his co – crew.

“Excuse me, did Archie resigned already?” I asked.

               The guy was kinda confused when I asked that, coz why the heck would I really ask that by the way? But as of the tone of my voice and the expression on my face, he should’ve known immediately the reason.

“Ooohhh.. he’s.. He’s not working here anymore. He already resigned. He was brought to the hospital and..”
And I felt he’s still going to say something but I already cut it. I already got the answer to my question, he’s not there anymore. I do not know where in the world will I ever find him! That’s the only place I know where I can see him – my only haven!

It seems that I lost him forever.

          I hope I could see him outside of that place, that was a safe delusion spot, that was just a dream land, I should’ve known. When I see him outside, on the real world outside, I'll be convinced that it meant something. The next time I see him, I won’t let him go without letting me tie something between us.

Uurrhhhh… I need a drink! All you alcoholics raise ya’r wine, beer, vodka, gin glasses for me!! XD rakenrawl!

I’m a writer. You don’t have to believe in everything I write, like it really happened in real life. I can twist the smallest detail to make it appear another way around. Or atleast if you’re lucky enough you’ll be able to differentiate the whites from all other colors. But in every post I make, you read not by your mind but by something that beats – your heart. So beat it.

Valleys Of Neptune
Kindle Wireless Reading Device (6" Display, Global Wireless, Latest Generation)
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Two-Disc Special Edition)
The Notebook (New Line Platinum Series)

Monday, March 22, 2010

(Shawrky - Drawn in MSPaint)

Even though I never learned how to swim, I feel like I want to swim right now. Watching movies? It's just an escape from reality, it only worsen my condition when I watch sci - fi movies. Comedies are the only type of entertainment for me. I hope our office outing could do some good things to me. Kudos!

== Swim, Swim! ==
(instant poem, as always.. XD)

Swim, swim through the lake,
what you got?
A swan!
Swim, swim through the mud
what you got?
An ogre?
Swim, swim through the road,
through the rocky spiky road,
through the mountains and hills too,
through it all, just to be with you.
Swim, swim through your dreams,
Don't stop now, you're almost there
Swim, swim through the meadows,
through a tree,
what you got?
You got me.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

{ My Own Rendition Of Happiness - Distorted, Dinosaur, Darn Im So Not The Mood }
Drawn in MSPaint

Tik.tok. 1:45 am

Needs to be real. I am fake. I'm not Okay but I believe that being fine starts with accepting that you are not.

So what now?

I see you, you dont see me,
I want you, you don't want me,
Someone wants me, but I dont want him
I want you, so what now???

I swear I'm losing my sanity, I swear I wanna cry .. T_T been years now since I cried. I want to watch scary movies to make me cry real hard. :((

I just want to let go of this negative emotion.

I'm just so fed up to be somebody else.

But as long as I'm not with you,

I'll never be myself, trust me.


I don't want to play around anymore,
If you cant be a brick to be build me a home, f**k off.