Monday, May 3, 2010

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3 Days of Summer

(That's me.. pic taken by my friend, edited by me XD)


Exposed from the diary of a guy friend:

This should start with a date. May 1, 2010. This could’ve been another busy day in this resort if the president did not move the Labor Day to Monday.

I do not know where to start describing her. Will it be the moment she arrived in this island? She walked through the sands to get to me – to get a room for her stay. Could it be her ordinariness that made her extra ordinary? I thank God that I had the chance to talk to her and know her more. If not, I would’ve lost more than half of what I should have in this boring island, where I have to work, and work, and work…

As usual I was on the counter that day to monitor the flow of customers. As usual there were girls, pretty girls, which check in this resort, but usually they are with their boyfriends/ fiancĂ©es/ husbands/ family. This girl caught my attention for she stayed alone in this resort. She took the single room at one of the most secluded place in the resort, most lovers love that place. The first day she arrived, she went out to the sea and took photos. I was just staring at her, looking at her legs, her cute face, well, most guys do that. But at that time no extra – ordinary feeling was upon me.

Then I thought of: “Maybe she went here alone to find someone to be with. Or perhaps, we could be friends, or play to the sand, play in this resort… maybe she could be a good friend…”.

So I tried to come closer to her. No extra – ordinary moves, no butterflies in my stomach. I came to her as she was watching the sunset on her first afternoon in this island. I handed her a souvenir item and told her that we give those kind of stuffs to all customers we have. Then she looked around and realized I lied. I gave her that item just to talk to her.

“You love to take photos?” I asked.
“Yeah…” she said.
I see that she’s very awkward to me. I see that she’s not like those  other girls that dig me when I come closer to them, that engaged me with a conversation just to be with me until night.
“You don’t trust me, do you?” I asked her after the sun set into the ocean.
“Ofcourse I do, you’re the owner of this resort, I can’t think of anyone to trust more than you..” she said with a smile.

I insisted to her to have a dinner with me in our resto, my treat. But she doesn’t want that kind of treatment, but I insist to let me treat her that way. Surrendered, she let me. We talked. But no matter how many things she say about her, there are still mysteries I see in her that she won’t unfold.

She told me about her work, about her views in every subject we fall upon. She likes computer games, PS games, helicopter toys and skateboards. In fact, she said that she skates a little. She also like barbie dolls, music, guitars, pen and papers.

After dinner I brought her to the light house. It was one of the most romantic part of the  island, for me. Then I realize to myself that I was digging her, I wanted her to like me as much as all guys want all girls to like them. We talked about love life, her views with love are so practical yet fairy – tale like, fantastic yet boring, real yet day dreaming. She is so confusing, I cannot understand her. She realize that I can’t understand her views, then she told me: “You spend so much time understanding me than verifying my thoughts. You don’t have to believe in everything I say..” and she smiled. We spent almost all of the night there.

By morning, around 5:30 am, I saw her going out of her room so I hurried myself and go down to catch her.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“To the end of this island..”

“Can I come with you?”

“Sure…”

So we walked to the sands to the end of the island. I do not know what’s there that she wants to see in this time of the day. I’m starting to be convinced that she’s really weird.

She took photos; she captured the sunrise, the rocks, and the birds. She loves birds because they can fly. She took photos of me, and of us.

I remember that time when she was facing me, our elbows on the sand, her hairs danced with the waters that reached the shore. I touched her hair that danced on the shore but it did not move her. She was telling a story that time, that I could not understand, but I pretend to listen. She seems to be an angel that’s talking to a mortal, her words are the things I cannot comprehend, they seem to be heavenly. What I did was to appreciate this moment that I’m with her.

We spent the whole day together though she’s asking me to go back to the cashier and watch over my resort. I told her that’s what I’ve been doing my whole life here, and I want to treat that day as a day – off for me.

The next day too, was a day off for me. I can’t get enough of her. She laughs at my jokes, she engages to a conversation with me, but I just can’t know who or what she is. She’s still a mystery. She seems like a gift that I’m dying to open to see what’s inside, I know there is more, I know there is more of her that I should have.

I should’ve not asked her this but I think I had to.

“When are you going back home?” I asked, calmly.

“Tomorrow…”

I was frozen by a moment, staring at the sand as we sat under the tree. For a minute or two, we didn’t say a word nor looked at each other. I understand she has to go back very soon, her work is very important to her, she cannot leave it for a week or more. Three days, that is. We spent three days together and I know no one would agree that it’s enough. Stupidly, I asked:
“Can’t you stay a longer? You don’t have to go home”

I mean it. She doesn’t have to go home. I can give her everything that she wants. She doesn’t have to work, I will give her money everytime to send to her parents, I will buy her all the clothes she wants, all the accessories she finds cute, everything that she asks for. But then I asked myself, “What am I thinking? What is this? Why can’t I just accept that she won’t be here for long?

I’ve had enough from girls, they loved me, they hurt me, they get my money, the made me happy. I met so many girls, ladies, women and the like, they are all the same – they want to be different. This feeling isn’t so unfamiliar – I am falling in-love. She’ll be the 28th girl that I’ll fall in-love with.

But I insist this is extra – ordinary. She makes me crazier, even crazier this time. I have to stop this feeling but I remembered what she said: “Your heart is like a rubber ball… if you hold it down, it’ll spring back..

It is springing back.

She went to her room that night, I went to mine. I cannot feel that she is saddened by the thought of our parting. I could’ve went to sleep if the electricity did not went out.

Black out.

I hurried to her, bringing lighter and candles. She thanked me and lit up those three candles, without even realizing why I brought 3. I have to tell her how I feel.

“Amber… I have to say something” I started.

“Yes? What is it?”

I gathered all my courage. My gawd! It seems it’s my first time!

“I cannot afford to let you go.. I mean…. “

I told her everything. I poured my heart out. I told her that she’s exceptional, that I always think about her every day, that the thought of not seeing her tomorrow and the next days of my life breaks my heart. I told her that I’ve fallen, I told her everything.

She was just calm and comforting. She says she likes me too but she cannot leave her work. And she said that I already know her plans, that she’ll be going to Manila to pursue her dreams, that it’ll take long, if not impossible, for her to come back to this place. But she also said that what she’ll love doing, she’ll find time doing.

But it is still not comforting even if she says she’s going back. What if she’ll meet a guy out there? What she felt for me is not that strong, she cannot hold on to that, I know. I want her to fall in – love.

I told her I want to hug her.

“Go on, then…” she said.

I hugged her. I hugged her with the greatest hug I’d ever give. I hugged her like there was no other woman was held in my arms. I hugged her like it’s the last time that I could ever hug her. I cannot feel that she feels it. How could she be so numb?

I can’t take it.

My eyes won’t hide it anymore, I cried. Tears fell down my eyes without even knowing to stop it. I don’t want to be seen this way – at my weakest point.

“Why are you crying?” she asked.

I told her again everything. Why does she have to be so numb? I’m crying because she’s going to leave me. I’m crying because I don’t have the right to stop her from leaving.

She took me by the bed. We were there sitting. She talked, facing me. Again, this familiar feeling, that I cannot comprehend what she say though I hear them. My focus was on her lips, those lips of an angel that’s talking to a mortal, saying something that will make me empty.

I have to say it.

“I want to kiss you…” I said.

I saw that she was a little bit surprised of what I said.

“Then… kiss me..” she said.

I kissed her. That was the beginning of a very intimate night. I held her in my arms; I savour everything about her as if it was the last. We get ourselves naked of all the possibilities in this world. We forget this world just then. At last I felt heaven, that I was not on Earth anymore. When you are with an angel, you won’t expect less than heaven. I took every chance to explore the wonder of her body. She’s very erotic and fun. She can really get me weak by her passionate kisses, by her caresses, by her lingering touches. But we did not get to the point of destroying her womanhood. That’s something I would not do. I wouldn’t want the angel to bleed. When I told her about it, she was heightened. That’s it, she’s falling in – love. She loves my respect towards her.

We shared our physique the whole night until we fell asleep.

Sleep. I don’t want to do it right now, but I think I have to.

I held her in my arms while she was sleeping.

….

..
.
Total darkness.
….

..
.
Then I woke up. It was already 8am. She said last night that her flight would be this morning, 10:00.

I woke up. I do not know if I should be thankful that I did, or I’ll regret that I just did. For when I woke up she wasn’t there by my side anymore. Her things were not there anymore, too. At that moment I know that she’s left.

I felt like crying. I want to go to the sea and drown myself. But if I do, I’ll never get the chance to see her again.




It was a very typical day in this resort again. Customers checks in, customers check out. I’ll watch over the counter by day, do the audit of income by night and think about her throughout day and night. If I look at it the way I see it before, nothing really changed on the outside, I am still me, I still look like me. But I feel different, I feel like superman.

I have to find her. I have to go to her place. I don’t care what happen to this resort, she’s more important than this, I’ve let so many girls in exchange of this place, but not Amber. I have to find her and court her until she decides to be with me.

When I find her, it wouldn’t be a happy ending. I don’t believe that true - love - love - stories doesn’t have a happy ending because I believe it doesn’t end.

I have to find her. And when I do, it won’t be the ending. It would be the beginning.


5 Reactions to this post

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