Sunday, May 30, 2010


People Alone

 (My Own World - drawn in MSPaint)

I just can't resist to post. I've been writing everyday yet not posting them because there are things that should be kept... but still there are things that are too much to hide.

For my dear readers, let me keep you updated of what has happened to me (inside) for the past week (in case you want to know :P). I haven't slept a normal and sound sleep for the past days (again). I know what's happening, this always happen in times like these. When you are full of chaos, questions and frustrations that you try to supress, your sub - concious will suffer. This will make you sleep less, talk more and do more without thinking the things you say or do. Also, be careful of hiding and trying to stop your feeling towards somebody. What you try to convey may be different of what they percieve you do to them or on how you treat them, you might be misunderstood and misinterpreted.

I've been listening to too much love songs too. What happened to my rock and roll? I don't know.

You know, sometimes, some people are like roses. The more you want to hold them, the more you get thorned. Sometimes, some people are like cactus, the more you come closer, the more you get hurt. As human, our first impulse is self - preservation: move away, go away, run away, you don't want to get hurt, do you? If thinking about someone would hurt, the question of strength is not in trying not to remember..but in how much you could accept reality everytime you remember.

Yet still, we pray this would end but at the same time we know that we don't want this to end. Especially if this keeps you alive.

If my words are hard to understand that means I tried to open up to the world yet I try to hide something from it.

Pardon me, I just feel stupid. I changed a lot but I still stay the same.

By the way, the MSPaining above depicts my world. It's for you to judge.

Work - should I stay here or should I go? It's yes or no. It's now or later. We make decisions in life. If we feel that it really feels right, we should be sure that it does really feels right, not driven by our selfishness. But before doing major decisions, we should ask guidance from above, He knows better so let your ears hear Him. Whatever our decision is, we should stand for it..unless we feel that we shouldn't.

I do not know. The more I think, the more I get confused. I've written a thousand lines, yet a more to come. It's has been like this - I can't stand up but I can't fall down..coz there's somewhere in the middle of this.

Life - it's just like this. Atleast for now I see improvement in me. It's hard to change... but it's harder if I stay the same.

Family - it's just like this.

Friends - it's just like this.

Love - it's just like this. Always like this. Situations change, but ironically it's still the same, just like this.

Money - see you soon.

Manila - I miss you.

My workplace here - please don't make me too much happy and contented, I'm finding it hard to go away.

To all the love songs and nightmares that accompanied me for the last days, thank you and please give me a break.

Less sleep, more work, more heartaches, more "house problems" and financial problems - how do you expect me to be?

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